The Art of Loving and Losing Female Friends –

A few years ago I was at a local festival with my then boyfriend and my closest friend Caroline. Around 12am on Saturday night, no doubt after one to many southern comforts, I called my mum in floods of tears.  She automatically assumed something had happened with my boyfriend. Sobbing into the phone I said no, something much worse…Caroline and I had broken up.

Luckily Caroline and I worked through this – silly me had called her boring within ear shot and for any one that knows Caroline this would not be the adjective you’d use to describe her! We remain the best of friends today but like any loving relationship (and as Cote points out loving really is the correct word) we’ve had our moments since then. I can honestly say that the times when our friendship hasn’t been good have been some of the toughest times of my life. Like any girl in there mid twenties i’ve had my share of painful breakups but I don’t think i’ve ever felt the helplessness at a loss of a sexual relationship that I experienced that night I called Mum.

This article will speak to many women who no doubt have had similar experiences to mine. Cote touches on something that once written down seems so obvious yet is rarely spoken about –  the importance and intensity of our female relationships or ‘love affairs’. Her article question’s why something so natural to thousands of women remains so unarticulated? It is common that losing/or arguing with a family member is recognized as one of hardest blows a person can experience, yet these other non sexual relationships continue to be belittled by terminology such as ‘just a friend.’

This work made me recognize just how central loving relationships between female friends have been to my life and identity. I am a heterosexual girl who is proud to admit that most of my longest and serious relationships have been with other women (I’m sure this is also the case for most men and their friendships.)

Cotes work also made me realize how grateful I am to have these relationships with strong, wonderful women, like Caroline.  I’m sure there will again come a time when we will argue and I’ll get that same fear of losing her. But if we both recognize the importance of what we have I am also sure we will get through it. We should put as much work as we can into these relationships, just as we would a sexual one. To call someone ‘just a friend’ is to completely miss, and in many ways belittle, the importance of female companionship, the most influential and meaningful relationships many girls will ever have.

After some long days filming and editing i’m finally ready to share my latest video project. Here is Debatables! Join the discussion in the YouTube comments sections and check back for more installments in the upcoming weeks!

Cheers,

Emma 🙂

1.) Kernel Mag – The MOOC revolution that never was (http://kernelmag.dailydot.com/issue-sections/headline-story/14046/mooc-revolution-uber-for-education/)

A really interesting article that looks at how and why the MOOC bubble burst. As someone currently trying to break into the online education market this is useful stuff. Sites like Coursera started of with such valiant and large goals but seem now to be admitting defeat. I think Mike Caulfield nails the point when he says “The hard problem isn’t democratizing access to education….” “It’s democratizing access to the perceived benefits of education. That’s a crucial difference.”

The question is how do we get underprivileged kids who have grown up being told that they won’t ever be able to go to college believe that their lives can be improved by a college education? Bridging this gap is no doubt key but very tricky. Personally I think the answer lies in the exact opposite of what the MOOC sites are now doing. People need to be convinced that education is about more than getting  a job or just a means to an end. It is a highly rewarding venture in and of itself that challenges people to become more cognizant in their day to day lives. Having a knowledge of History, Science, Geography – (whatever it may be) – can make us more socially aware and active members of the community. It also no doubt makes people feel good about themselves, and isn’t this the major hurdle in convincing people that they deserve an education?

2.) The Washington Post –  Why salad is so overrated.  (https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/food/why-salad-is-so-overrated/2015/08/21/ecc03d7a-4677-11e5-8ab4-c73967a143d3_story.html)

As if the picture of ‘the salads’ without the salad weren’t bad enough, Tamar Haspel also builds a factually driven case for the environmentally challenging realities of lettuce production. In an age where the stresses on sustainable farming and ‘eating right,’ have probably never been higher this is important food for thought (apologizes for the pun – I couldn’t help myself!!) I’ve always known that ordering a salad wasn’t necessarily the healthy option but it was still easy to convince myself that eating lettuce is somehow a good thing, after seeing those pictures (and regretting that Applebee’s salad I had a few months ago) I can no longer pretend this is the case!

3.) The 3 Americans, and solo British Hero who stopped a suspected Terrorist in France. (http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-34034840)

This was a story I couldn’t help but get emotional about. I’m sure lots is still to come out about this incident and the shooters reasoning but I think for everyone when we hear of things like this the first thing that comes to mind is  – What would you do? I’d like to think i’d be up there meeting the threat head on but as the British hero said until your faced with a life or death situation you never really know how you’d react(I also had to laugh at his very English reaction to the event – a real life have a go Harry!) Lets just hope i’m not in town when that earthquake/tsunami hits……

4.) Bear rolling down a hill (http://mashable.com/2015/08/24/grizzly-bear-rolling-down-hill)

This is just awesome!

Hi Guys,

Cheers!

Last week – August 19^th – marked the anniversary of the first race at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway in 1909. Now home to the ‘biggest sporting event in the world’ – The Indy 500.

Believe it or not I had the pleasure (and it was a pleasure…trust me) of going to the race this year. Once referred to as ‘the redneck mecca’ the 500 certainly doesn’t have the best reputation in many circles. I had the opportunity to go since my roommate is from Indiana and wanted to share this piece of her home, and history, with me (her family had been going to the race every year for as long as she could remember!)

She had warned me that I was in for a culture shock, and seemed to get much enjoyment from the fact that a Brit was coming to this most American of events. I was told to expect lots of beer, lots of American flags, lots of eagles, and few teeth!

The seats were hard, and the ninety-degree heat stifling on my pale British skin, but the atmosphere was electric. I felt every cheer when a favorite took the lead, every concerned gasp when an accident happened, and the tide of genuine support for each and every driver, including those who had no chance of winning.

So what did this most ‘American’ of events teach me about the country I now call my adopted home?

The Indy 500 was a culture shock, but a positive one. Being an immigrant I believe that I am especially attuned to seeing what makes America culturally unique – in particular, the nation’s unswerving attachment to individual sovereignty. This fact is both America’s magic and it’s curse. It creates a country that feels alive, bubbling with the ideas and dreams of daring individuals, but it can also lead to a selfishness and ignorance that is damaging to any society.

But what I saw at the 500 was 300,000 individuals coming together. I cheered the British riders on, people cheered with me. I smiled when the Colombian Montoya screeched to the finish line. I looked around and everyone else was smiling too. We all endured courteously through the squeeze to reach our seats, and we were all so quite that you could hear a pin drop during the 21 gun salute and military flyover.

For a country so young America is unashamedly proud of their traditions, history, and nation. I never felt this as strongly as I did at the race. Individuals may not all agree on what it exactly means to be an American, or how their nation should look, but there is consensus that everyone has a right to carve out their own piece of the American dream, and to have their voice heard. There is also a real sense that people will stand up for what they believe in, and that they will also stand up so that others can exercise this same right. This is an attribute important to remember in a time where the continued inequality and oppressions that plague the states have never been clearer.

My time at the race reminded me of America’s biggest achievement – that a nation of fifty very different states continues to strive first and foremost for unity. It was a once in a lifetime experience, and I thank my roommate for sharing it with me.

Yes there’s a lot of beer, there’s a lot of hollering, and I’ll admit, it is full of ‘rednecks,’ but the main thing the 500 has is heart. So does America. An event that I feared would expose all that worried me about this country actually left me with a new understanding of what makes it so great.

Indianapolis, I’ll be seeing you next year!

I’ve always liked to think of myself as atypical, i’ve always liked to surprise people , and i’ve always had strong opinions. This website is my space to show all this.

I created this site both as a place for my work and a platform to share my thoughts and ideas to push myself to create more.

I’ll be blogging about history, film making and the life of a mid-twenties Brit on the path to carving out a life and career in America.

Stories are best when shared. I hope you enjoy the ones I have to tell.